We’re in a bubbles phase over here lately. The Lola likes this activity primarily because of the blowing, which she likes to do while sticking the bubble wand directly in my mouth. I like to watch each bubble float softly away, so beautifully fleeting and iridescent.
This thing happened a couple of weeks ago. I mentioned in my last post that when I went back to work, my schedule was the stuff dreams are made of. But you know how it goes, nothing lasts forever, and so I decided to become a (temporary?) stay-at-home mom. A housewife! I felt very 1950’s! And then I was offered a job. A BETTER job! A job which, if you want to know the truth, I’ve been working towards ever since I graduated college and, thanks to a master’s degree and some solid professional experience, I would have been really good at. A job which was also 40+ hours a week with a 40 minute commute each way.
I turned it down.
When I got the offer, I was reading “Tiny Beautiful Things,” a compilation of the “Dear Sugar” advice column questions and answers written by Cheryl Strayed. I kept coming back to this letter and the idea of the “sister life” I wouldn’t choose, the experiences and opportunities that wouldn’t be mine.
Frankly, I’ve been surprised at how much I’ve enjoyed my days at home with my little lovie. Motherhood is, of course, a study in contradictions: long days, short years; children that you love but don’t always like; never being alone but sometimes feeling lonely. But when I think about the things I would have missed about this slow life of tiny baby steps and small bites and “¿cómo dice el león?… rawrrrr!”, I feel so terribly grateful.
I think I’ll always work in some way or another (freelancing is a beautiful thing). But each day that I would have spent at work away from my baby now feels like summer vacation (which I’m enjoying because, just like small babies, summer vacation doesn’t last).
It felt right to let that particular career option float away, swiftly and elegantly, just like our bubbles.
(The pictures are from the dolly’s first birthday party and completely unrelated to this post, but isn’t she cute?)