nada y todo

Hello! As it turns out, most of what I wanted to blog about for the past few months was being pregnant. Since we kept the news off the online world for a long, long time (21 weeks to be exact), I just didn’t really care to write about much else, ya know? I did save a couple of drafts from the first few weeks I was pregnant that I’ll publish, just because it’s interesting to remember what I was thinking and feeling at the time. I planned on writing and saving posts until officially announcing it on Facebook/the blawg buuuuut then the first trimester kept happening and really all I was up for after work was collapsing in a heap on the couch, so… there are like three posts, ha! It’s been a VERY easy pregnancy, relatively speaking, but, you know, growing a human makes me very tired.

Written June 9, 2014.

“Mrs. Darling was married in white, and at first she kept the books perfectly, almost gleefully, as if it were a game, not so much as a Brussels sprout was missing; but by and by whole cauliflowers dropped out, and instead of them there were pictures of babies without faces. She drew them when she should have been totting up. They were Mrs. Darling’s guesses.
Wendy came first, then John, then Michael.”

When I graduated in December, I had things all figured out: I was going to apply to a million jobs and get my dream job and live happily ever after, and then a few months later we were going to start trying for a baby because ain’t nobody gettin’ any younger if you know what I mean.

So I applied for a million jobs aaaand… nothing happened. I mean, I went on a lot of interviews, and I was even pretty close to taking jobs (most notably the super awesome communications job at an impact investing firm in NYC). But nothing was really right. So, in the spirit of keeping options open and also because I knew it could take a while, we decided to start trying for a baby. And guess what? Nothing happened there either.

So we decided to buy a house (haha). Long story short, we still don’t have a house (although to be honest I’m not sure I’m sold on the whole home-owner idea, so I don’t mind waiting for that one).

And then finally, FINALLY I started a new job, and it happened to be my dream job.

At which point I was like, welllll maybe we should hold off on the baby-making until I settle in a little bit, it would be tough to feel tired and crappy while being new at this job that I love, etc. etc. And then at the end of my first week on the job I took a pregnancy test and nearly passed out when it read positive.

So here’s what I really want to remember: all those months, when nothing was happening, were meant to prepare me for these months when everything is happening all at once. And everything is so, so much better than nothing. We’re having a baby, y’all!

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